It’s easy to look back and question decisions you have made in the past, but it’s unfair to punish yourself for them.
You can’t blame yourself for not knowing back then what you know now, and the truth is you made each decision for a reason, based on how you were feeling at the time.
As we grow up we learn and we evolve.
Maybe the person you are now would have done things differently back then, or maybe you are the person you are now, because of the decisions you made back then.
Trust your journey, it’s all going to make sense soon.