Throughout the years I have learned three major things.
1. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Sometimes you might think you know someone, you might think they’re on your side but deep down inside they’re not. Truthful & consistent stay, rest doesn’t. Pay attention. Actions without intention means nothing. And words are just another way to cover up the truth with lies.
2. Almost everything we go through we can’t control. That means, if it’s yours, then somewhere down the line it’ll return to you. And if it’s not, then you have to make peace with it and move on. It’s as simple as that.
3. Letting go is never an easy thing to do. No matter how many times you’ve rehearsed it, no matter how many times you’ve played it in your head, it never goes as planned and almost always does it sting a little harder than you thought. (Not my words.)
Your greatest power is the power “To be”. To be more loving. To be more courageous. To be more consistent. To be more joyous. To be more friendly. To be more sensitive. To be more aware. To be more forgiving. To be more tolerant. To be more humble. To be more patient. To be more helpful. To be more truthful. To be a GREATER HUMAN BEING.
When we say “STRIVE TO BE SUCCESSFUL”, we must mention SUCCESS in what form! In my eyes SUCCESS is an amazing form of accomplishment & it can be anything.
You are a good student, that’s a SUCCESS. You are a good employee who loves & enjoys his/her job, that’s SUCCESS. You are an entrepreneur or a businessman to a profitable venture, that’s a SUCCESS. You lost 10kilo body weight in a month for shooting a music video, that’s SUCCESS. You travelled 41 countries before turning 29, that’s SUCCESS. You are truthful about what you are, that’s SUCCESS. You never showed deceptive or inconsistent characteristics, that’s SUCCESS. You are confident & consistent, that’s SUCCESS. You never allowed bad times or bad people bring down your vibe, that’s SUCCESS. You were patient with time to get what you wanted, that’s SUCCESS. You baked the best sourdough pizza & sugarfree cheesecake for all your 17 friends, that’s a SUCCESS. You know your bestfriend DEMI is a crybaby & despite that you had a long conversation about all your differences in opinion while grabbing her by waist, even that’s a SUCCESS.
SUCCESS is such a wildly overrated word that makes most people scared to even think about it. We must use this word “SUCCESS” in our day to day life to feel more fulfilled in our way of living.
AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GOING, YOU’LL KEEP GETTING BETTER. AND AS YOU GET BETTER, YOU GAIN MORE CONFIDENCE. THAT ALONE IS SUCCESS. (Not my words.)
Consistent effort with clean intentions always leads to SUCCESS.
I’ve seen bad texters respond quickly and write paragraphs.
I’ve seen people who “aren’t ready for a relationship” get ready in few conversations.
I’ve seen a girl proposing me in front of 24 friends to marry her ASAP on my birthday, who used to say “I DON’T NEED A MAN TO BE HAPPY” since 7 years. (Hello Lioness😜).
A healthy adult relationship is one where both people in the relationship give and both receive. There is a safe, equal and open exchange of ideas, communication, feelings, and thoughts and all perspectives are considered and valued. There is also the freedom to respectfully challenge, heal, confront, and strengthen one another.
At the end what matters is a TRUTHFUL CONSISTENT person who gets you, no matter what’s coming. If someone wants you, you won’t have to ask for effort.
In a generation of people who want to be heartless, and empty of feelings, then call it SAVAGE, it’ll be hard to be someone who is what a HUMAN should be. Do not become like the world.
Be loyal, be truthful, be consistent, be emotional, and be full of feelings. Be hungry for love, be thirsty for affection, and anything else human beings ought to desire. With time moving up, you will experience people who match your energy, enthusiasm & optimism.
Let others be foolish and cold. Don’t dim your light to become as dark as they are.
(This Instagram post got nothing to do with the post above. My love for G-Shock watches goes back to A-level/high school days. Not a secret i am a huge sneakerhead, but i love watches too. YES I have some 46 watches right now, 7 are Casio G-shock watches. And when my bestie DEMI sees this at evening, she can guess what to gift me during thanksgiving dinner.)😜
Your impact on other people is bigger than you think. Someone still giggles when they think of that funny thing you said. Someone still smiles when they think of the compliment you gave them. Someone silently admires you. The advice you give has made a difference for people. The support and love you’ve offered others has made someone’s day. Your input and opinions have made someone think twice. You’re not insignificant and forgotten. Your existence makes a positive difference, whether you see it or not. You just have to remain truthful & consistent with the way you are. You are unique & beautiful. Be you.
(This video got nothing to do with the post above. It’s talking about obesity problem in USA. 2 out of every 3 US citizens are either overweight or obese, 1 is obese. And last 1 left is in tiktok i guess.😂 I am not surprised actually. If you eat Egg Mcmuffin & french fries with starbucks coffee for breakfast, what else do you expect! People drive miles to buy crappy fastfood & gain weight, then they talk about pollution & body positivity. Sadly this trend is slowly spreading in UK & Europe, but i am also happy that so many of those american fastfood chains aren’t present here so far. I can talk about life in Cardiff & Berlin, very few people prefer to eat out often. Even if they want to, at least we have an option to choose a full monty english breakfast/doner kebab/vegan avocado toast & natty acai bowl with enough lean meat/eggs/mushroom/vegetables/nuts/oats/berries/fruits at an affordable price. No offence to anyone reading from USA. I have cousins & friends in Cali, i tease them about being fat or fab everyday.😜)
A high school teacher once said; “Being close & open to your opposite sex is important, you become more transparent, there’s no insecurities which makes you more confident. Later that also helps you build better relationship/friendships”. I took those words bit too seriously i guess. Even though my name is bit spoiled with university girls, I haven’t dated many in my almost close to 30 life. Actually i never missed dating someone. Being an extrovert & a LEO, I always had/have options to choose with whom i want to hangout/party/travel/workout/get cozy/watch Netflix/movie night/go hiking or shopping.
Now back to the story/confession/realisation, here it goes: Way back when I was getting over a breakup, I used to spend most of my night filled with anger & a boyish temper. I didn’t realize it back then, I had so much to achieve in my life & such negative feelings weren’t helping. I wondered why she was able to get over faster than I was. Later I realised, it’s because I was spending so much time hating that situation rather than getting over it.
Anyone from my university friends scratching their head which breakup i am talking about; it’s my bestfriend DEMI. We are bestfriends since 7th century, but we have a mad crazy past. We dated for a very short period of time, I wasn’t ready for a COMMITMENT & i literally thought we were just fooling around. Fault was mine. I said YES to 4 girls for prom night & 2 out of those 4 were our seniors. I was expecting DEMI will be cool with it. To fight back & make me jealous, DEMI went on a date with one of my friends named Ivan. Being a loyal bro, Ivan asked my permission whether he is allowed to take DEMI out for a full monty brunch. DEMI didn’t like her date. She wanted to patch what fell apart in between us, but i was more focused with my studies & part-time job. I didn’t care much because i am the kinda guy who’s happy when my bank account grows, my life is more about my growth rather than allowing someone to mess with my piece of peace. Let’s say, I am a happy man because i am married to my bank account.
It became a runner/chaser situation for a week. Sad to say, i was the runner. One saturday evening it was snowing really bad. It was a lightbulb moment for me, I invited DEMI to try my homemade sourdough pizza. It wasn’t tasty like store-bought pizza, but we both ate it with pin drop silence. That was my first try with sourdough fermentation. Next day DEMI came to my apartment early morning, we followed another recipe from some website & we baked that pizza perfectly. We both were upset about each other’s behaviour. An amazing conversation after a good pizza helped us heal. We both got the closure & clarity we needed.
Coming back to this current day called TODAY, the only person who still sits on my lap is DEMI. I can ask her for a head & back massage anytime i want. We go on long drives. It’s a weddings/royal dinner invitations/travelling to some islands during weekends, we are each other’s +1 partner. If weather is not ok, we make it better by cuddling/spooning each other. 3-4 times she suggested whether we can date again! And as usual, I am not ready for dating experiments. But we already have an amazing equation, i don’t want to destroy that by allowing some romantic melodrama. We have a verbal agreement, there’s a sweet punishment if we miss each other’s phonecall or facetime. Last time i missed DEMI’s call when i was attending a university seminar, i had to send a butt naked snapchat streak to all my 186 friends as punishment. Our communication is flawless. The truth is, it took us a long time to build the amazing equation we share & i am not strong enough to hurt her. If i know someone who is TRUTHFUL & CONSISTENT so far in my life, it’s DEMI. Now there’s nothing except RESPECT & ADMIRATION towards each other.
Takeaway: Whatever struggle you are facing in your life, make sure you are not poisoning yourself with anger when you could be giving yourself love. When you are filled with anger or hate, the only person that suffers is you because most of the people you hate don’t know it and the rest don’t care. Fill yourself with SELF-LOVE & SUCCESS before you are in search of LOVE.
1. The kindest people aren’t born that way, they are made. They are the souls that have experienced so much at the hands of life, they are the ones who have dug themselves out of the dark, who have fought to turn every loss into a lesson. The KINDEST people do not just exist, they choose to soften where circumstance has tried to harden them, they choose to believe in goodness, because they have seen firsthand why COMPASSION is so necessary. They have seen firsthand why TENDERNESS is so important in this world.
2. Surround yourself with people who are doing the work to HEAL themselves. Surround yourself with those who want to talk to you about IDEAS rather than other human beings. Surround yourself with people who LOVE and RESPECT themselves, people who are GENTLE and KIND and who ENCOURAGE CONNECTION. Surround yourself with people who genuinely show up in your life, people who don’t just want attention, or praise, or validation from you. Surround yourself with those who want to GROW with you. These people will change your life.
3. Being understood fosters a different kind of INTIMACY that is untouchable. The rarest, most profound kind of connection you are going to experience will not be with the person who instantly gratifies you, but rather, with the kind of human being who sees you clearly. Ask yourself who makes you feel the most you? Who sees you in ways you don’t see yourself? Who pours calm and ease into the heart of you? Those people who came to mind are rare and beautiful gifts. Never take them for granted.
4. Do not just be THANKFUL for the things you deem positive in life. Be thankful for the EMOTIONS you also deem negative, because it is within the darkness that we grow to APPRECIATE the light. The hardest things in life are building you, and reminding you of your capacity to overcome. At the end of the day, nothing you have experienced thus far has defeated you. There is POWER in reminding yourself of that. You are capable of braving the storms, that is what they are there to teach you.
5. Please don’t ever forget that so many human beings you come into contact with are all trying to heal themselves from the things they often do not discuss. Always choose to be KIND. Always choose GRACE.