Long ago, a man went to see a circus show. Before the show began, he saw that a lot of elephants were held by only a small rope tied to their leg. The man suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that such huge creatures were being held by such a thin yet small rope.
There were no chains and no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could break away the ropes at any time from their bonds but for some reason they weren’t even trying. The man saw the elephant’s trainer standing next to elephants. He was curious to know why the elephants weren’t trying to escape from here.
To this, the trainer told him that they were like this since the time they were very young. At that time, it was enough to hold them. As they grew up, they were conditioned to believe they could not break away. They believed the rope could still hold them. On hearing this, the man was completely shocked. He was looking at the elephants in a pity and he went away from there.
Moral of the story:
High chances you are your biggest hurdle on your path to success & a joyful life.
We all survive with a “FALSE HUMAN BELIEF” doubting our own strength which lowers our self-esteem, self-respect, capacity & capabilities. Keep working on yourself & you will experience a better version of yourself with time.
A high school teacher once said; “Being close & open to your opposite sex is important, you become more transparent, there’s no insecurities which makes you more confident. Later that also helps you build better relationship/friendships”. I took those words bit too seriously i guess. Even though my name is bit spoiled with university girls, I haven’t dated many in my almost close to 30 life. Actually i never missed dating someone. Being an extrovert & a LEO, I always had/have options to choose with whom i want to hangout/party/travel/workout/get cozy/watch Netflix/movie night/go hiking or shopping.
Now back to the story/confession/realisation, here it goes: Way back when I was getting over a breakup, I used to spend most of my night filled with anger & a boyish temper. I didn’t realize it back then, I had so much to achieve in my life & such negative feelings weren’t helping. I wondered why she was able to get over faster than I was. Later I realised, it’s because I was spending so much time hating that situation rather than getting over it.
Anyone from my university friends scratching their head which breakup i am talking about; it’s my bestfriend DEMI. We are bestfriends since 7th century, but we have a mad crazy past. We dated for a very short period of time, I wasn’t ready for a COMMITMENT & i literally thought we were just fooling around. Fault was mine. I said YES to 4 girls for prom night & 2 out of those 4 were our seniors. I was expecting DEMI will be cool with it. To fight back & make me jealous, DEMI went on a date with one of my friends named Ivan. Being a loyal bro, Ivan asked my permission whether he is allowed to take DEMI out for a full monty brunch. DEMI didn’t like her date. She wanted to patch what fell apart in between us, but i was more focused with my studies & part-time job. I didn’t care much because i am the kinda guy who’s happy when my bank account grows, my life is more about my growth rather than allowing someone to mess with my piece of peace. Let’s say, I am a happy man because i am married to my bank account.
It became a runner/chaser situation for a week. Sad to say, i was the runner. One saturday evening it was snowing really bad. It was a lightbulb moment for me, I invited DEMI to try my homemade sourdough pizza. It wasn’t tasty like store-bought pizza, but we both ate it with pin drop silence. That was my first try with sourdough fermentation. Next day DEMI came to my apartment early morning, we followed another recipe from some website & we baked that pizza perfectly. We both were upset about each other’s behaviour. An amazing conversation after a good pizza helped us heal. We both got the closure & clarity we needed.
Coming back to this current day called TODAY, the only person who still sits on my lap is DEMI. I can ask her for a head & back massage anytime i want. We go on long drives. It’s a weddings/royal dinner invitations/travelling to some islands during weekends, we are each other’s +1 partner. If weather is not ok, we make it better by cuddling/spooning each other. 3-4 times she suggested whether we can date again! And as usual, I am not ready for dating experiments. But we already have an amazing equation, i don’t want to destroy that by allowing some romantic melodrama. We have a verbal agreement, there’s a sweet punishment if we miss each other’s phonecall or facetime. Last time i missed DEMI’s call when i was attending a university seminar, i had to send a butt naked snapchat streak to all my 186 friends as punishment. Our communication is flawless. The truth is, it took us a long time to build the amazing equation we share & i am not strong enough to hurt her. If i know someone who is TRUTHFUL & CONSISTENT so far in my life, it’s DEMI. Now there’s nothing except RESPECT & ADMIRATION towards each other.
Takeaway: Whatever struggle you are facing in your life, make sure you are not poisoning yourself with anger when you could be giving yourself love. When you are filled with anger or hate, the only person that suffers is you because most of the people you hate don’t know it and the rest don’t care. Fill yourself with SELF-LOVE & SUCCESS before you are in search of LOVE.
Story goes back to my highschool days. I used to suck at history & geography. But my grades with maths, physics, chemistry & language papers were amazing. I was a 85-90% scoring student. I was a good chess player, i have played state level game 9 times to be exact. Most of my school friends were dead serious about football, that game never excited me. I was not crazy about sports in school, but i was fond of playing basketball or volleyball with my street pals. Because such weird interests, i made some friends outside my school. Most of them were my seniors, nobody cared because of my height & build. I think i look like a beefcake since forever. On top of that I hit puberty little earlier. In my class, i was the only 13 year old with some moustache & beard.
It was summer vacation after my grade-8. Few of my new streetsmart friends suggested to watch “THE MATRIX RELOADED”, of course it’s an amazing movie, but watching the same thing 4 times in 2 weeks smelled like a dumb idea. So we went to a DVD movie rental store to browse any other movie we can watch. Suddenly it started raining. One of my wise friends wanted to rent a X-rated movie. Let me clear, it wasn’t a porno. I agree some scenes were bit too much for our teenage eager brain. One of my friend’s neighbour girl knocked my door that evening and told me that she saw me renting/watching that movie. My “good student” image was really important to me & being an extrovert asshole i was, i cracked a deal within 20-30 minutes. Deal was; she will not say anything about that movie to anyone & we need condoms before locking doors. I lost my cherry that evening. She was 4 years elder to me & she started acting way too much romantic within a week, which was hella confusing. I had to cut everything bluntly because i wanted to focus on my studies, my friends, my chess, my piano lessons, my playstation, my basketball power forward position, my swimming classes & my 16 miles ride to a nearby river.
I am in my late 20s building strong morals & a big bank account, so that i can buy all happiness i desire for myself & my family. My approach to life in general is; “REMAIN TRUTHFUL & CONSISTENT, YOU WILL SEE EVERY POSSIBLE SUCCESS COMING YOUR WAY”. That’s all i wanna see in my people. That day & today; whenever i say i like someone, my friends think i am talking about some latina’s fine ass. Never understood how to be romantic. Basically i never wanted someone so bad that i can imagine being in a relationship. I was into someone recently, let’s not name it a relationship. I came in touch with someone who walked the same journey as mine & she is living in my city since 2012, but i got to know her after 6-7 years. It’s amazing to see people who believe in same basic human values as yours. The sad part is; people & their predictable behaviour. Especially their inconsistency, that’s my biggest turn off moment. I have made some rules to lead a simple happy happening life & one rule says; Every liar is inconsistent & every inconsistent person is a liar. Whenever someone acts inconsistent, just cut that equation no matter it’s a friendship, relationship, fling or fuck-buddy. Once a person goes inconsistent, their next step is lying. That’s how every inconsistent person tries to justify their inconsistency.
Moral of the story is; Never offer half baked emotions/attention/affection, first you have to be sure about yourself whether you are ready!! I am a strong believer of KARMA. I believe if i can do something wrong with someone, some other person can do the same thing with me.
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