Society exists only as a mental concept.
In the real world; there are only individuals.
– Oscar Wilde.
Society exists only as a mental concept.
Society exists only as a mental concept.
In the real world; there are only individuals.
– Oscar Wilde.
Practice the pause.
Pause before judging.
Pause before assuming.
Pause before accusing.
Pause whenever you’re about to react harshly, and you’ll avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.
Many of us have gotten so used to playing to the expectations of society, of our families, of our friends, and of our minds, that we don’t even allow ourselves to consider who we really are or what we really need.
We ignore the calls of our hearts, giving our lives, instead, to the demands of an outside world built on fitting in.
We can stop this, right now.
We can choose to listen to ourselves, to heed our deepest callings, whatever they are.
We can give ourselves the freedom to be whoever the hell we want to be in this world.
Right now, if we choose to.
And why wouldn’t we?
CHOOSE TO BE YOU & CHOOSE YOURSELF EVERY POSSIBLE MOMENT.
Avoid people who:
1. Mess with your head.
2. Intentionally and repeatedly do and say things that they know upset you.
3. Expect you to prioritize them but refuse to prioritize you.
4. Can’t and won’t apologise sincerely.
5. Act like the victim when confronted with their abusive behavior.
Never RE-FRIEND A PERSON that has tried to destroy your character, your money or your relationships.
A SNAKE only SHEDS ITS SKIN to become a BIGGER SNAKE.
(Not my words.)
Never devalue yourself.
Never forget how beautiful you really are.
People in certain situations can sometimes make us feel we aren’t good enough by society’s standards.
But it’s natural to feel that way.
You just need to know how to find your way out of that negative place.
Remind yourself that you are beautiful exactly the way you are.
Life is beautiful.
You are worthy of it.
BRUTAL LIFE LESSONS;
1. No one will ever be able to make you feel loved unless you love yourself.
2. We will all eventually become old and unattractive in the eyes of society.
3. You can’t always get what/who you want.
4. Love, dating, and relationship can’t be figured out logically.
They require empathy, vulnerability, truth, consistency and honesty.
5. You can’t change others.
6. The person who cares less has the most power in a relationship.
7. When in love, everyone becomes an idiot.
Certain things i wish i knew sooner:
1. If taking care of yourself means letting someone down, then let someone down.
2. Never let rejection lead to self-rejection.
3. What happened yesterday may not be your responsibility, but how you behave today is upto you.
4. Obsessing over the things that society said you’re supposed to do will kill your happiness.
Everyone is different and your path to happiness will be different too.
5. My low maintenance relationships are my strongest.
6. If you want to enjoy your life, don’t subscribe to other people’s definition of ‘fun‘.
Your fun belongs to you, make sure you define it.
7. Stop expecting honesty from people who lie to themselves.
People who are inconsistent aren’t going anywhere in their life, stop planning a journey with them.
8. If you learn to read books, you can be smart.
If you learn to read yourself, you can be anything.
It’s funny because when you were a child,
you believe you can be anything you want to be, go wherever you want to go.
There’s no limit to what you can dream.
You expect the unexpected,
you believe in magic,
you believe in fairy tales,
and you strongly believe in possibilities.
Then you get older.
That innocence is shattered.
And somewhere along the way the reality of life gets in the way.
You’re hit by the realization that you can’t be all you wanted to be.
You might have to settle for a bit little bit less.
BE THE MOST AUTHENTIC VERSION OF YOURSELF.
BECOME WHAT YOUR HEART PUSHES YOU TO BE.
IN THIS WORLD OF INSTANT GRATIFICATION & UNREAL EXPECTATIONS, YOU BEING A REAL YOU IS THE BEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE TO YOURSELF & THE SOCIETY.
You’ve got to ask yourself what you’re living for & who you’re living for.
And if none of those answers begin with you then you’re living your life wrong, you’re living a lie.
Everything you do should revolve around you.
Every person, every place, ever moment should start and end with you.
This is your life and you shouldn’t spend it on dull things, in people who don’t understand the type of love you carry within your bones.
Because you only live once and it’s your job to make it count.
So let every day be yours, own it, remain consistent in your walk of life and never apologize for being who you are.
(This video got nothing to do with the post above. In case this entire generation falls behind our journey towards humanity & a healthy civilized society, this app called TIKTOK is the sole reason behind it which gave them taste of instant gratification & memory span of a goldfish.)
Don’t waste your time judging other people, it’s not your place.
You weren’t put here to judge others.
You are here to be the best version of yourself that you can be and to spread love and kindness to everyone you meet.
Do not judge other people, use your time making a difference.
So the moral of the story is; WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE?
(This video got nothing to do with the post above. I feel pity on these antivaxxers, let’s not judge them. I also understand we shouldn’t mock dead people. We mustn’t lack compassion because certain group of dumbfucks can’t understand WHAT’S LIFE or HOW SCIENCE WORKS, these are just victims of misinformation. We can either laugh at their nonsense or smile to their mediocrity.)
Life is majorly about two things;
1. The impact you leave on people & society with your way of living, thinking & behaviour.
2. The love that you get & give.
(This video got nothing to do with the post above. Only my friends know why i love basketball & i respect Shaq for his work+business ethics. Watch this video reason from 3.34 till next 2 minutes, those will be my rules for my kids in 2040.)
The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.
– ISAAC ASIMOV.
My grandpa died before 4 years at the age of 97+. He lost memory during his last few days. But whenever he was able to recollect his thoughts & was able to understand what’s going on, he used to talk about his involvement in Mahatma Gandhi’s khadi movement during India’s freedom struggle. Khadi means hand woven cotton fabric.
He used to preach few things till the day he was alive;
1. Saying/wishing/greeting RAM RAM is not a religious thing, even though LORD RAM is the highest celebrated deity in Hindu religion. It’s about seeing divine in other human life & exchanging equal amounts of respect for that reason.
2. The biggest sinners in this world go to church/temple/mosque very often. Because they have to keep reminding god to wash their sins.
3. 10% of your wealth/income must go towards DANA (in Sanskrit it means DONATION), donation towards helping underprivileged & upliftment of society.
Not a secret, i own a small health supplement business since September-2017. And now that business enjoys a loyal customer base because of good quality products & quick customer query resolution. With those fitness enthusiasts in mind, i started an athleisure clothing brand in August-2019.
Like every other human, i am not perfect & my business is also not perfect all the time. Especially the atheleisure clothing brand i am talking about, not talking about profit or loss. My operation is small and we never made a loss. I am talking about clothes not being perfect sometimes. While manufacturing/stitching/printing, in few cases there’s a misplaced logo or a packaging label mishap, a stitching at wrong part of the clothing material or short hoodie strings, so we reject few clothes while passing it through quality testing. But even those quality reject clothes are completely usable, sometimes even i use them as my layer-1 clothes during winter. Like previous year, this year too we will go to a nearby orphanage & a refugee shelter to donate some winter clothes/blanket/woolen socks. There’s an amazing feeling of fulfillment while giving it back. I am forever grateful to almighty for giving me little more than i can consume.
(In case anyone wants to join, i have updated the address in our CMU university group. Please don’t try to overcrowd the place, 12-13 people are enough. It bums my mood to see people roaming around without mask, so please wear a mask while coming.)
This post/story is about basic human decency. Yesterday i came across a horrible person, who misbehaved a small restaurant owner while paying for some eggy bread, pork pie & tea. He was short of some cash even though he came with entire family in a BMW X5. His argument started escalating over Apple pay, that too in a small & new cash only eatery. Later he went to ATM, withdrew some cash & paid for his food. According to his words; if you aren’t accepting Apple pay, you should go back to country side & he was some corporate employee for BAE systems. The words he used against that restaurant owner made me question his upbringing & it also made me realise what an highly educated asshole looks like. We live in a materialistic world where we literally judge someone looking at their clothes/house/car/phone/financial status, the last comes EDUCATION, QUALIFICATION, PERSONALITY & BEHAVIOUR, that too only if we enjoy a healthy interaction. So, Why these so-called few corporate employees belittle street food truck or small restaurant owners in their head!!
Because i mentioned these words “Materialistic world” & “Corporate Employee”, let’s talk about the money part first. Any engineer/banker/software developer/analyst with 3-5 years of job experience makes easy 95-130k salary per annum, no matter it’s Dollars/Euros/Pounds. Social security+Insurance+Tax, combined all are around 38-42% of entire income in most developed countries. Now monthly in hand salary comes close to 5200-6700 Dollars/Euros/Pounds.
Let’s talk about the small scale business owner who runs a food truck or a street food restaurant, here an easy quick meal costs 7-10 Dollars/Euros/Pounds. It can be a Full English breakfast/Tacos/Pastrami Sandwich/Doner kebab or a salad with tea/coffee/any kind of drink. They receive 80-90 such orders during lunch hour, mostly regular customers during a rush hour. And casually another 80-90 orders at evening because that’s the preferable time to cater tourists/students/kids/young people/couples. Total around 170 orders of 7-10 bucks food product, gross 1500 bucks everyday. Sunday everything is closed. So it comes to 1500×26=39000 worth of sales in a month, not the profit amount. If you deduct the raw ingredients+gas+rent+electricity+3-4 employees salary from that 39000, that small scale business owner is still left with easy 9000-12000 Dollars/Euros/Pounds in his hands every month.
Tried to show you an easy estimation in both scenarios. I am saying it from my experience. I know a half Indian brit who lives in Berlin, he started a ghost kichen sourdough pizzeria in Alexanderplatz in the middle of pandemic. Now it’s a small yet busy full blown cafe. His cafe is open only 4 hours every evening, but he makes way more than my salary. Even in terms of money, a small scale business owner enjoys a better financial stability compared to any employee. The good part is, EVERY BUSINESS OWNER IS HIS OWN BOSS. They work their ass off for their family, so that family can enjoy a life worth calling LIFE. I have studied 4 years bachelor’s in engineering, then MBA, now i am a PhD research scholar (still a student), i also have 4+ years of job experience as a data/research analyst & software developer. I bet that person who started a small mediocre petty drama must have studied something like i did. And most of the time people who work at multinational companies imagine they enjoy the best lifestyle compared to rest, which can be true. But does that allow anyone to be a jackass on streets? We can’t cure certain issues by cursing & shouting. Education is not just there for earning a qualification. If education isn’t making you humble, grateful & a better human, then you are simply a waste of time & energy for society.
(Forgot to schedule this post on Sunday. When i mentioned yesterday above, i am talking about an incident from Saturday. The restaurant owner i mentioned is one of my friends from A-level days.)
Let me tell you something funny today.
Now a days we all hear once in a while someone random comes online in YouTube or any other social media & says, “You don’t need a school/college/university degree to be successful in life”.
Even Elon Musk once said “You can learn almost anything from internet for free”.
My question is; “As a human & society as whole, do we value free things?”.
I totally agree you can learn any skill for free if you have a strong willpower.
But that doesn’t take away the fact that a good school/college/university education is important.
Rich people don’t want competition. It’s beneficial for them if a major chunk of population stays under qualified, cheap labour you know.
Let me bust all these crap today.
Roughly 7.9 billion human population in our world & 92% adults don’t have a college/university degree.
And the rest 8% people who have a college/university degree own 74% of entire world’s wealth.
So don’t take advice from people who haven’t walked that path.
In most cases what happens; even getting into a good university or any ivy league school is a big deal here, that says your mind is ready for the big game.
Education is necessary.
Qualification is important.
Skills you learned will take you places.
Acceptance helps to love yourself.
You might not love all aspects of yourself right now but you can learn to accept it.
Accept your flaws.
Accept the positives and negative aspects of your story.
Accept the parts of you that are deemed unacceptable by society.
Self acceptance is the starting point to attain self love.
Never stop being a GOOD PERSON because of bad people.
(This video got nothing to do with the post above. Money is not given, it’s earned. People have to work for it. You can’t wake up those who are faking a sleep. Oppertunities are discovered & pursued.)
Get honest with people about who you are,
what you want,
and how you expect to be treated.
Standards only scare off the people not meant for you.
Some people have a problem,
they can’t digest respect & good vibes.
Stay away from those,
such people don’t deserve your LOVE or ATTENTION.
My bestfriend DEMI asked me yesterday “whether i will stop hanging out with her after i get a girlfriend/partner/wife or someone significant?”. I am answering this with few lines, so that she can bookmark & read it as many times she wants. I hide nothing from no one.
Here’s my answer:
My blood’s origin goes back to an eastern state of India called ODISHA. Since childhood i was taught few things which are embedded in my mind now:
1. Study, learn, get qualified & make lots of money with that knowledge. Because society is either judgemental or materialistic which respects power of MONEY & KNOWLEDGE.
2. Live for love, respect, family, and LOVE+RESPECT towards family. That’s why we have huge families.
3. MONEY you made mustn’t be used to flex in front of others. Use it to keep your family happy.
4. Invest in gold & land, this is the big kicker. That’s the reason most Indian men crave to buy more than one property & Indian women are obsessed with 24 carat pure gold jewelleries.😂 That’s all.
So one day when i enter a stable relationship, the sole purpose is to start my own family someday soon or sooner. I know whom & what to prioritise. But remember one thing dumb bitch, i feel like i know you since my past life. You are not just my bestfriend, i consider you family. You will always have 24/7 access to my house, my lap, a piggyback ride to beach & access to me no matter it’s pouring/sunny/snowing. Don’t get emotional DEMI, we are not discussing anything about this post during facetime.
I like people who have a sense of individuality.
I love all humanly expressions, conversations and anything awkward and imperfect, because that’s natural and that’s real.
Show yourself, do not pretend otherwise.
I think it’s beautiful the way you sparkle when you talk about the things you like or you don’t like.
And I like it when people disseminate, when they open up and dare to be completely honest, and when they laugh at the smallest things and then look into eyes.
There’s nothing more soothing when you are yourself and show who you are.
I always appreciate this.
All I can do is, look around, looking at that happy happening scene in my head again, there is warmth and familiar energy that we do not want to say goodbye to.
I am grateful for everything, for those beautiful moments.
Beauty is the way you hold yourself.
It’s how you treat people.
The way you love.
Beauty is in your soul.
I have outgrown many things.
I have outgrown relatives who gladly offer criticism but not support.
I have outgrown my need to meet my family’s unrealistic expectations of me.
I have outgrown people who wear masks and secretly rejoice at my misfortunes. (Not the corona situation face mask).
I have outgrown shrinking myself for those who are intimidated by my intelligence and outspoken nature.
I have outgrown friends who cannot celebrate my accomplishments.
I have outgrown people who conveniently disappear whenever life gets a little dark.
I have outgrown those who take pleasure in gossiping and spreading negativity.
I have outgrown dull, meaningless conversations that feel forced. I hate smalltalk.
I have outgrown those who don’t take a stand against ignorance and injustice.
I have outgrown trying to please everyone.
I have outgrown society constantly telling me I’m not beautiful, smart or worthy enough.
I have outgrown my tendency to fill my mind with self doubt and insecurity.
I have outgrown trying to find reasons not to love myself.
I have outgrown anything and anyone that does not enrich the essence of my soul.
I have outgrown many things.
And I’ve never felt freer.
(Not my words).
The goal is to become an upgraded version of my real self & a better HUMAN BEING every next day of this life. And i am connected to everyone who’s a part of that journey. If we have a steady flow of communication, you are celebrated in my books.
There’s no WONDER without some WONDERFUL people in life.
SOMETIMES LIFE SEEMS UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE YOUR OLD LIFE DOESN’T FIT ON YOU ANYMORE.
YOU’VE OUTGROWN THE OLD YOU.
If you have the chance to make people happy, just do it.
Sometimes people are struggling silently.
Maybe, your act of kindness can make their day.
Kindness costs nothing but seems unaffordable, because our society lacks empathy.
Be a walking contradiction.
Be strong and soft.
Be deep and lighthearted.
Be beautiful and intelligent.
Be confident and humble.
Be someone with a quick wit and a cheap sense of humor.
Be content climbing a mountain and enjoying the sweetness of doing nothing.
The world may try and classify you as one thing because that is far easier to understand than a person who has a little bit everything in them. And you may feel misunderstood for a while, but just remember your people can only find you if you’re brave enough to be yourself. There are parts of you that you have yet to discover. There is greater love that you have yet to find. There experiences that are are far beyond your imagination. And it’s all waiting for you. Life is waiting for you. So set aside your expectations and go explore it. Life is fun, let it be.
(Not my words)
Constantly trying to be productive is never the answer to your desire towards a better stable life. You must understand: “our culture is fast-paced and result-oriented. The consequences that most of us focus on and feel a deep need to be productive at all times even when we’re relaxing”.
The focus should be on recharging, so we can be more productive later. We rarely set aside time to just think this lack of time to reflect and process as harmful to our Mental Health. Being productive all the time or feeling like you need to be can amplify feelings of anxiety and irritability. Sometimes it’s ok to take a break.
The reason i don’t understand GOSSIP, Gossiping for attention & telling stories can make you appear smarter and more engaging, it may even help you feel accepted in a social group. But gossiping always backfires in the long run.
Spreading gossip is only a short-term solution to elicit approval and although people may enjoy here and there to gossip, later they tend to dislike those who spread it. It reveals that she/he may be untrustworthy or judgmental after all if you talk about others behind their back, what’s to stop you from gossiping about anyone in your life including the people you gossip to. People are temporary & gossiping is cheap. Learn to learn something new to keep yourself exciting, young & happy.
Learn, level up your skills & qualification. Not because society/someone is saying it, but because you don’t want to regret tomorrow for not investing time in yourself.
Society loves to ingrain this idea in our heads from parents to professional figures to religious leaders to government officials that “You have to trust and obey all authority”. You clearly don’t have to follow this. We are led to believe that we must obey authority. As soon as you begin to question this belief with critical thinking, you’ll see how unjust an irrational authority can be. Although this isn’t always the case, you should never blindly follow or trust authority simply because they have power. If everyone followed orders because rules are rules society would never seek progress.
Think about the greatest historical movements would never have been possible without the people who rebelled against authority. Humans are profoundly social beings. We have an inherent need for connection, acceptance and love. And some people will do whatever it takes to gain social approval, the fear of being left out abandoned or lonely often pushes people to suppress their authentic desires. You probably know that forcing yourself to do something just because someone told you to it’s not a good decision. But it’s harder to be mindful when society tells you to do or believe certain things that go against your true intentions. We must question the beliefs and social norms that we inherited to be able to start on the path of independent thinking. Then we can live as our most authentic selves and make decisions that support our well-being.
Every single time there is some negative bullshit or conspiracy theory, it always goes back towards one group of people. Anti-vaxxer, anti-mask, global warming denial, flat-earth & it’s followed by some hundred others. It’s effecting the whole world because the news media is majorly controlled by west. Right now is the right time to show an amazing middle finger to the ones who were screaming “Kill Bill gates or Fire Dr.Fauchi”. Actually it’s not just the problem of USA. I was gobsmacked while returning from airport in my Uber when i saw people burning 4G towers with the belief in hoax theory of 5G waves causing COVID, you can’t even laugh to that level of nonsense/illiteracy. In such moments we need right people to show the light, every little effort counts no matter from where you are reading this.
Society always puts you through this idea of “You need to meet the expectations of your age group”. There are lots of people out there who judge others based on their age. These people tend to think that there are rigid milestones everyone needs to meet or that maturity level should match age appropriately. But the length of time you spent on earth doesn’t determine anything about your life.
There are no rules about where you should be, what you should have done or how you should be living. If you don’t own a house by 40, that’s okay. If you aren’t settled down by 30, that’s okay too. Your age doesn’t determine how to lead your life. But if you feel unsatisfied, you should be honest about why that is.
(This video got nothing to do with the post above. Just shared it because we all must stay away from such stupid conspiracy theories.)
STEREOTYPES: I wanted to talk about this topic since forever. You really don’t have to fit into any stereotype. Media teaches us a lot about the culture we live in books, movies, TV shows. They form a societal lens for us to look through and we see what they create stereotypes. We’re conditioned to believe specific things about specific people based on how they look or what they believe and we often internalize these stereotypes. We think that we need to confirm by having specific interests, wearing certain clothes or being good at a particular job.
The result is that things like race, religion, gender or sexual orientation become a tool for society to trap people inside boxes with definitive labels. But the truth is that, most people aren’t clean-cut stereotypes. We’re diverse and complex individuals with varied interests skills and strengths. So we need to embrace our authentic selves instead of trying to squeeze into a box that doesn’t fit.
Never try to do anything that’s outside of who you are. A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart, so recognize it when it happens. Living a LIE will reduce you to one.
– Ashly Lorenzana.
There is a reason I always say liars are the insects of a healthy society. Every cheater, thief, murderer, rapist, narcissist, fraudster have one thing in common; “Their string of lies”. Whenever you encounter a liar, make sure you cut that equation clean out of your life. Those who are reading this, remember to gift yourself some ample dose of self-respect every morning. Live a life where there is no second chances, so that you will never entertain a liar or never commit that same mistake.
Your intelligence, education, qualification, looks & skills are worth nothing if your character is not in sync with life. To earn the legitimacy of being a valuable asset to your work & society, you need to keep on being a TRUTHFUL YOU at every phase of life.
Whether you are smoking weed, sniffing some white powder, popping certain pills, buying fake watch-sneakers-clothes which all are illegal in every possible way in your country; money generated from such thing contributes to child labour/sex trade/organ trafficking & even terrorism.
The one who is buying fake yeezys or the person who just grabbed some ecstacy(DRUGS) from his/her dealer, you both caused exact amount of harm to society.
Money is the reason behind progress of our society. It teaches you to see profit in what you do. The hunger for profit drives competition. And that competition brings the best talent available/possible.
My tiny life has kicked me enough time to time, two lessons are key take away;