Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book, or a person who explained to us, explained us that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger spiritually than we were before.
Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, we tend to feel it as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, waiting for those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life, and that in all probability a new level of the PERSONALITY is about to be revealed. KEEP WORKING & STAY READY TO RECEIVE.
(This paragraph got nothing to do with the post above. Now the question everyone asking in university group; “Is there a secret instagram account of TAP?”. ANSWER IS YES, only 5 people know about it. I use it more like a travel timeline diary. My real instagram has around 16k followers, I don’t even know 99% of those people. Way back some asshole stole & published my workout images in an Amsterdam based male erotic model magazine, one of my ex-bitch informed me about it when she was planning to hire a stripper for her sister’s bachelorette party. Fun part is, that’s the time period i didn’t even leave my country for one whole year & I was/am really happy with my DATA ANALYST JOB. Since then, i am not uploading my face to instagram. But i am quite active in snapchat, i have streaks with all 122 contacts. I know & i have met every single one of them. I trust all of them, nobody will screenshot or steal my pictures there.)
I am never gonna propose my LOVE with a ring in my hand. I would rather prefer to be on my knees with a box full of condoms, lubes, anti pregnancy pills, a bare minimum badly planned vacation & hopefully a new husky puppy (Gonna name him snowball, yeah I grabbed it from Secret life of pets 2).
She will understand “I am not planning/faking it“. I am so ME in my stupid ways. I will see how well she receives me with all my flaws.