Observe yourself when you feel fear or anger. Focus on the feeling, not on what caused it. Not the stimulus, the stimulation. Most strong reactions we feel are reactions to the past, not the present(if it’s hysterical, it’s historical).
We will be more effective when we move beyond unconscious programming and respond from a place of peace. Deal with information, not inflammation. (Not my words.)
Do not engage with someone with lower behavior. You will be dealing with someone who projects, who has ego problems, who is self centered, who lacks empathy, who is emotionally immature, who has unhealed wounds of their own, who has a need to feel superior, who needs to control others, and who ends up hurting just about everyone who crosses their path. Stay away from such people & such behaviour.
Move forward by healing your own hurts. Improve yourself. And forget about inviting other’s toxicity into your space. You are your own responsibility. Make sure you make yourself a better version of yourself with time.
When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce.
Yet, if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience.
No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change. (Not my words.)
You can be high-functioning, and still be depressed. You can appear confident, and still suffer from anxiety. You can laugh and seem happy, and still be depressed. You can make progress in your healing, and still feel the weight of the trauma. You can have it all together, and still feel empty inside.
Be gentle with yourself and others. Everyone is going through something.
There’s nothing more beautiful than a kind empathetic heart which can feel the same for others as much as for yourself.
We all share space on this planet, so we have to come to a place of mutual respect so we can get along. We don’t all have to agree with each other but we have to respect and honor our differences and similarities alike.
Reach out to your colleague, roommate, coworker, or new acquaintance and make an effort to get to know them a little better. You might be surprised how much you have in common or how touched they are by your effort. EMPATHY is the most beautiful human emotion.
Just because people are being bad to you, doesn’t mean you should sacrifice the same energy to them. Don’t go through that kind of effort. The best thing you can do is to completely ignore them and focus on what makes you better. It’s hard, but know that you deserve only good and positive vibes.
You were not born to embrace and express negativity. Maybe the people around you might have brought that side out of you, but naturally you’re nothing like those people. You are way better than that. Keep working towards your human side. There’s nothing more attractive than KINDNESS & EMPATHY.
You don’t just wake up someday and fall in love with yourself. It takes time. It takes patience but more than that it takes self compassion, empathy and kindness from yourself towards your own heart. You have to be brave enough to forgive yourself for all the mistakes you have made and all the chances you didn’t take. Like all the other forms of love, you will learn to love yourself by practicing SELF-LOVE. -Dhiman.
(This video got nothing to do with the post above. I am a big fan of Key & Peele. Not recent, but this is one of the best.)
Stop overthinking and replaying episodes from your past you are not happy about. Realize that everything happens for a reason. It served its purpose. It made you better. Only through experience we can truly feel and understand the contrast of what is good and what is not, what we want and what we don’t want.
Experiences teaches us most valuable lessons. It helps us grow, love ourselves and have empathy towards others. Be grateful for your experiences, but move forward. Embrace the new & remain consistent in your walk of life. (Not my words.)
OPINION is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is EMPATHY, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding.
Often when we’re comforting loved ones, all that we want to do is take their pain away. It’s such a natural desire to help those we love in need. But there are many times when it is necessary for people to go through pain to fully learn and emerge stronger than ever. Remember not to enable someone who needs help with a problem. Support them in finding a solution.
The next time a loved one is going through a difficult period, think about how you can support them instead of fixing them. You can’t resolve other people’s issues, but you can sit with them and share the burden of their pain, thereby lightening it. (Not my words.)
HEAL YOURSELF. FIND YOURSELF. KNOW YOURSELF. CORRECT YOURSELF. RESPECT YOURSELF. BE YOURSELF. LOVE YOURSELF.
(This video got nothing to do with the post above. But if you are from USA or UK, you should watch it. The title of the video is WHY IT’S HARDER TO EARN MORE THAN YOUR PARENTS.) Dropped this in university group as well, lunch on me at Casanova 12.30PM sharp. Please don’t ask address hundred times, it’s opposite to NCP car park.
Nothing is more important than empathy for another human being’s suffering. Not a career. Not wealth. Not intelligence. Certainly not status. We have to feel for one another if we’re going to survive with dignity.
Your words can be more healing than any kind of medicine. They can be more toxic than any kind of poison. They can ease a mind of its nagging questions. They can relieve a heart from its doubts. They can free a heart from the chains that keep it holding on and that make it fear letting go. They can spring hope into a deserted heart. They can shatter a soul barely holding on to the pieces that make it strong. They can be a shelter for the broken and a canon of motivation for those who need confidence. They can build mountains of confidence and build stairs to those dreams that hide above the clouds. They can dig holes into the darkest and deepest of scars. They can strike happiness into the souls in most need of it, and They can strike sadness into the souls of those most far away from it.
So, before you speak, ask yourself if your words are true. If they are not, then you are fooling the hopeless into hope that won’t last & you are also lying to yourself. You are breaking down walls temporarily that will be built even higher afterwards. Say what the truth and genuineness in your heart need to say. Say no more. Your words are equally powerful & destructive, measure it before saying something.
The most attractive thing about you should have less to do with your face and body, and more to do with your heart and how you treat other people. I am talking about kindness & empathy.
Let’s face it, we see an appearance first and have our first impression based on an appearance. Our appearance is where we can hide behind. But an appearance does not say anything about a character. Nowadays it seems that we judge each other on our appearance, who we are and what we stand for does not seem to matter. No effort is made to get to know the person behind an appearance.
It is our own mental attitude which makes the world what it is for us. Our thoughts make things beautiful, our thoughts make things ugly. Not our eyes. The whole world is in our minds. Learn to see things in proper light. Learn to see souls instead of bodies by using your mind instead of your eyes. LEARN TO SEE WHAT’S REAL.
Be the person who cares. Be the person who makes the effort. Be the person who loves without hesitation. Be the person who bares it all. Be the person who never shies away from the depth of their feeling, or the intensity of their hope. Be the person who believes in the softness of the world, in the goodness of other people, in the beauty of being open and untethered and trusting. Be the person who takes the chance. Be the person who refuses to hide. Be the person who makes people feel seen. Be the person who shows up.
Trust me when I say – be the person who cares. Because the world doesn’t need any more carelessness, any more disregard; because there is nothing stronger than someone who continues to stay soft in a world that hasn’t always been kind to them.
In this world filled with liars, cheaters & deceptive people, we all encounter trust issues. One easy noticable trait of every untrustworthy person is; they struggle to empathize people. Those who lack empathy are much better at being able to deceive or hurt someone and the ability to empathize with others is something most untrustworthy people lack. An empathetic person would be hesitant to hurt someone else since they can imagine the pain their actions could cause. It acts as a barrier to hurtful behavior. If someone is capable or even comfortable with backstabbing or betraying others, they usually lack empathy. They likely won’t take responsibility for their damaging actions and don’t even know that they lack the ability to empathize.
Untrustworthy people are self-serving, they care only for themselves and can’t see past their own perspectives. Some people are even able to use empathy selectively and only when they stand to gain from it, which can make this trait even harder to spot observing how someone acts toward others, especially those they can’t benefit from will reveal their true nature. A lack of empathy is a red flag when it comes to gauging someone’s trustworthiness.
I never understand preachers or priests. God didn’t send you to this world for just praying & preaching his name or his messages, no matter his name is Jesus, allah or ram. Your life is precious & your faith is your personal affair. There is a purpose behind it. Find your calling & serve your purpose before your chance to breathe on this planet is over. This is purely my thought. Read the next paragraph why I said what I said.
History says just god’s name or religion didn’t help humanity flourish until people came to realisation about their work, skills, knowledge & capabilities. Every religion’s holy book says “We are children of God & your work is your worship/identity”. Just imagine you gave birth to a baby & now that baby is just chanting/talking about his parent’s life all the time to anyone she/he is passing by. Will that make you happy? Your parents don’t want you to praise them, your God wants the same. Do your job, studies, business or work. If you succeed in that, your parents will feel appreciated genuinely. Your God will feel proud of it as well. A successful child is parent’s pride & happiness both. Every father/mother want their kid to become something big. Yes little empathy & compassion in heart is necessary. If you can feed two slice of bread to a homeless or help them with shelter, that’s how you can grab good karma or let’s say goodwill. If you don’t believe in karma, let’s say your God will reserve a nice queen side bed for your afterlife in heaven when you have good deeds which earned some smile doesn’t matter how many times you took a trip to church/temple/mosque.