Enthusiastic listeners. People who don’t make you guess if they’re mad. Direct communicators. The friend who helps you clean your room. Those who are kind to those who can do nothing for them. Messy folks who repeatedly get it wrong but never stop trying to get it right anyway. Kindred spirits. Loud laughers. Pals who make the grocery store fun. Loved ones who get as excited about your success as you do. The person you feel comfortable crying in front of. Sing-in-the-car friends. People who text you to look at the moon. People who text you just to say hi. The one you’ve known since childhood who you can go a long time without talking to but nothing changes. Those who understand the value of holding space. The mentor who pushes you to do better because they want better for you. Patient teachers. Healers. Scrappy souls. Hard workers. Friends you can joke about hypothetical situations with for hours on end.
The genuine ones. Anyone who leaves you feeling good afterward, not just when you’re with them. People who see your fault lines and say they have them too. Anyone who came to mind as you read this. Hold them close. Love them hard.
When you learn how to communicate with others there’s no problem you can’t solve. It doesn’t mean you’ll always agree with other people and it certainly doesn’t mean that they will agree with you. But none of that matters if you possess the maturity and the patience to work through your differences. Think about how much more peace there would be on this planet if people would just talk through a problem instead of using violence & retaliation.
Do you have a friend or family member you have a really hard time getting through to? Maybe now is the time to try again. It never hurts to try.
You have to learn how to communicate if you want to get along in this world.
Instead of saying “I’m lazy,” saying “I’ve made a habit of not doing work unless it’s absolutely necessary.” Instead of saying “I’m a bad friend,” saying “I haven’t communicated as much as I should with the people I care about.”
By being specific about your problems, and by framing it as an action that you are consciously either working on or ignoring rather than an unchangeable part of who you are, you allow yourself to accept your mistakes and work constructively on them instead of pretending they didn’t happen or wallowing in blaming yourself.
Honestly I think one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself is to separate your negative qualities from your identity. (Not my words.)
Throw away the idea that you need to pause your life until you are fully healed; this is a different way of being attached to perfection. Progress happens when you make better decisions in the midst of living. You can simultaneously heal your past while being open to the present.
Everyone wants to know how i tolerate my bestfriend DEMI since past 700 years of our friendship because her attitude is bit aggressive?
Let me answer & YES, it’s a long answer: We were attending Lory’s birthday party near Cardiff bay. Party was over & some Justin Bieber song started playing. DEMI walked towards me & said; “Rudey, my pussy is drying up because of this shit song. Let’s leave & let’s drive to Tenby. We will talk about everything after reaching the beach.”
We both laughed & i still remember those exact words. And Yes, DEMI still calls me RUDEY because of my rude/angry/grumpy face. We went through a bad fight before 5 months of that birthday party & i stopped talking to Demi. I decided i must allow her some time to think & respond logically instead of continuing that fight. Only few friends know Tenby is my favourite coastal town in Britain & i prefer afternoon swimming when i think about relaxing. DEMI made the right choice with place & timing. We went swimming & she broke the ice while chilling at beach. We had a long open vivid conversation about everything which went loose. We were able to come back stronger. Years gone & our equation keeps getting better with time. No matter how much i deny, she is the sassiest angel i ever came across. Bestfriends for some good reasons, and i can’t appreciate more.
27-Feb is the date we had a bad fight & we both stopped communication for 5 months. We both still talk about the stupid reason behind it & what we missed in those 5 months. We laugh at each other’s silent treatment. We tease each other about why that was just unnecessary.
We humans always take goodness for granted & our ego stops us from accepting our flaws. We miss opportunities. We disrespect good people. Sometimes we hurt others without even knowing. We make blunders easily.
But there are very few who accept & cross that path to acknowledge own mess. Who says it’s easy!! Very few are ready to talk about what’s wrong in them & why they are ready to change for better instead of farting from mouth “THAT’S HOW I AM”. I admire those who strive to be a better human. It’s easy to go vulnerable towards such people who come with clean intentions. Every equation can be easy, soothing, happening & loving. JUST CHOOSE THOSE WHO CHOOSE YOU.
If you tell a skiier to don’t lose balance or don’t get hit by a tree, they definitely will. So their trainer usually tells them to follow the path & nothing more.
Our Human brains are so stupid that we can’t comprehend the NEGATIVE. For example; If i tell you to not think about an elephant, you can’t follow that one. Didn’t you just think about an elephant right right now?
Life is like that & most people are exactly like that. The people who worry too much about failure/betrayal/getting cheated/behaving bad are the ones who usually do all those negative things as their first line of defence. And later overthinking makes everything worse with time.
Just become confident & stay consistent on your journey, i believe you can do that. Confident & consistent with your thoughts/mindset. Confident & consistent with communication/behaviour. Confident & consistent with your lifestyle/habit/choices/goals. Confident & consistent with the way you live. You don’t need different stories for different people. In short, you don’t need that negativity to prosper inside you. Follow the path of light. Life is fun, let it flourish.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the superficial beauty of our world. It’s incredible how you can meet someone so physically stunning and when you get to know them, they seem to lack basic kindness, communication skills & compassion for others. The moment someone isn’t kind to others, any physical beauty they might have had disappears. Real beauty comes from kindness, virtue, and compassion. Seeing that kind of beauty requires more than just a casual glance.
Take time to get to know people and then decide how beautiful they are; you will become more beautiful in the process.
Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are. -MARKUS ZUSAK.
(There are reasons i find my people beautiful beyond looks. If you are included in this “MY PEOPLE”, you are appreciated. And i owe you whole lotta love & respect for life.)
If you want to align with REAL FRIENDS, REAL LOVERS, REAL COMMUNITY, share your truth PROUDLY, UNASHAMEDLY & CONSISTENTLY. Shout it. Sing it. Write it. Dance it. Paint the most AUTHENTIC you all over the canvas of your life. Whoever’s left applauding your art are YOUR PEOPLE. Whoever fades away was never yours to begin with.
(This movie trailer got nothing to do with the post above. I am not a fan of online dating or any form of fast-track romance. My big reason is, i trust no one except my family & myself. And Yes, there’s a group of 17 friends whom i consider family. Trust & respect are earned with consistency & communication.)
Violence is the easy way out and it only leads to more violence. We need people in this world who are willing to find solutions through peace, through communication, honesty, and diplomacy. World peace may seem impossible, but it’s worth aiming for.
You don’t have to be a politician to stop wars and practice peace. Make sure every word you speak and every action is coming from a place of love.
If you and I are having a single thought of violence or hatred against anyone in the world at this moment, we are contributing to the wounding of the world. -DEEPAK CHOPRA.
(This video got nothing to do with the post above. Big fan of Neil deGrasse Tyson and this sketch is the funniest impersonation of him.)