True me.. Tap-831..

Life is a funny little process.
Because sometimes you find yourself when you least expect it.
Sometimes you let go when you don’t even notice you’re letting go.
And sometimes the right people find you on the days you need them the most.
Sometimes everything just clicks.
Because the universe is always in your favor.
It is always looking out for your best interest.
Always making sure you get the lessons and gifts you need.
Have faith in your progress because, progress is a gradual consistent process.
Life is fun, let it be.

(This music video got nothing to do with the post above. Next few words are for my bestfriend DEMI, pardon your RUDEY/TAPPIE/GOLDEN BEAR/LION KING. This song was on loop 3 times & my neighbour girl was vibing looking hella sassy 🔥🔥🔥 in a bit to short denim shorts. You know my hands have their own life while dancing & I can’t get over athletic caucasian girls. Yes i hate you, actually i love your fit 🍑 little more than i like you.😂🤪 Missing your voice & vibe. No matter who’s around, you own the biggest chunk of my head & heart till i am single. Pick me from Matt’s place, office dinner tomorrow & my eyes are wide open to devour your A-game.😋
I won’t leave it open, you know I’m on on go.
Moving too fast, you know I’m on on go).

Tap OUT..✌️

True me.. Tap-575..

Once in a while one friend or another asks me this question: “Tap, what you do when you are stressed!!?”.

OK. This one has two solutions for me;
1. Figure out who/what caused stress & kill that reason behind it silently.
2. Lift weights, do some 200 push-ups, look at my imperfect 5-pack abs in mirror, talk to my PhD research associates to figure out who is running ahead of me, login to my amazon seller portal to see how many boxes of whey protein we sold today, then have a pint of my favourite low calorie sugarfree ice cream in sea salt caramel flavour while watching Tom and Jerry.

Two easy ways actually. Most of the time i prefer the 2nd one because murder is still illegal. In case i get the opportunity to kill someone without getting punished, i would love to kill my bestie bitch by leaving her inside a huge bucket in any snowy swedish village during 2070 winter. If you are one of my close friends, you already know i am a simple stupid sober sassy person who is unaware of all emotional melodramas. Nobody is big enough to hurt me or give me stress. The worst things a human can do is; LIE. Every liar falls in line with every negative prediction. And i bet, after a while they seem fun & funny because of their repetitive pattern of lying. Fuck fake goodness. Tappie loves real people with clean intentions & bad will always work if it’s real.

Have a good one.
Tap OUT..😘

True me.. Tap-440..

Time decides who you meet in life. Your heart decides who you want in life. And your behaviour decides who stays in your life.
– Buddha

In my case I am married to my bank account & we share an amazing togetherness. Next I want my boss TAP to stop being so bossy & let me retire within next 2-3 years, so that I can woo & hook up with a sassy bitch/boo/angel for next 2-300 years. Yeah I want 80-90 babies as well. ZK.😜

Demi challenged me in CMU group to share two pick-up lines close to my heart. (Those who don’t know, Demi is my bestie since past 250 years). Btw who stores pick-up lines in heart!! These two are in my head though:
1. Your breath smells amazing, gimme some.
(Used by Demi on me during prom. And thanks to almighty, never dated this half blonde dumb bitch.😝)
2. Not sure whether it’s your smile or booty, 2 out of 4 cheeks are definitely working.
(That’s my favourite pick-up line. Always works on latinas, pardon me for going little racial. Not sure how many times I have misused this one).

Tap OUT..🤪

True me.. Tap-214..

I asked for a tagline suggestion to my bestie bitch while discussing SEO related stuffs regarding a clothing brand. The answer i got is amazing yet unusable.

FOLLOW WHAT YOU FEEL”..

Tap OUT..😘

Demi.. Not me please..🤣

Just teasing my bestfriend because she is a Taurus. Can’t deny scoring a stupid yet amazing person in her who stood the test of time. Appreciated my bestie bitch..muaaahhh😘😘

(Click on the screenshot pic for article’s link.)

Dumb Demi: I need your Help!!

Whenever I say “my bitch”, only one person gets supremely excited because there is a “MY” in it. The bitch I am talking about is my saviour. I never needed her support, but she shown up & kicked my ass to move ahead quickly swiftly successfully towards happiness. I am talking about “my bestie bitch-Demi”.

Whenever we connect, her words are more like two grade-3 kids planning how to build a sand-castle near a beach. Though I am just 4.67billion times mature compared to her, I always end up joining that stupid idea. Friends ask me more about her, I answer this about who she is; “Clean heart, Clear mind, unaware of wtf is EGO & LIE, Dad’s credit card after spending own salary”. Whatever it may be, you are True & Yes I am buttering you little bit right now. Get me that 1800-supreme hoodie latest drop (Dark olive or Heather Grey Please). I will let you spank my butt twice in exchange.

Apart from all: you put me to the right place when I was collapsing to pieces. No thank you for being my bestie. But thank you in advance for that hoodie. If you aren’t able to fly, please ask me my new address to mail that shit.🤗😘

Yeah. That’s my BESTIE!!

You know who can screw each of my lines easy peasy. Demi, I want to tell you one thing from the bottom of my heart: “sometimes I lose my shit & sometimes I lose my breath, while checking out your ass & attitude.” You are a weirdly ridiculous pain to me & I can’t do anything about that. We always come back to each other where we left. No matter how big of a bitch you are, I adore/appreciate you for being bestie to this asshole named Tap.😘

Demi!! SORRY!! 🙏

Hey BESTIE,

It’s not fun when communication is blocked. I have no issues in accepting I messed up big time. I wasn’t able to make it. Don’t grant me a SORRY just like that. You know I don’t believe in that word.

Just remember “I will never lie to you. I will never break your trust. I will never hide anything. I will never block your access to my tomorrow. I am lucky to have you as my guardian angel. You are only one person in front of whom I can be emotionally naked. Doesn’t matter I screw 20 more bitches, you will never lose access to my life. People come and go, all are worthless because no-one stands the test of time, their validity is limited. You are my shining star. Your company makes me feel like I found diamond in a coal mine.”

One thing I am confessing, “I was falling for you during a certain phase of my life. It’s you who broke it. Can’t forgive you. Whenever you say those 3 words to me, I don’t want to hear it. And pardon me, I can’t serve you anything such in exchange.” I will unblock your number tomorrow after interview with my PhD supervisor. I am little stressed. We will start from where we left. I assure you will get all your answers. We planned shopping & food during next month meeting, no changes with that. But I am substracting Frank from that plan. And we will not talk this shit during that time, let’s finish what’s left unsaid.

Tap OUT..😘😘😘😘

Eyy Bestie.. It’s so you..

Yeah, nice Punjabi track. Let me explain it’s meaning to my non-brown mates. The girl’s hook of this song says:

“Promise today, you will buy me PRADA.
Or else keep staring at me from far away.
I will get a new lover easy peasy.”

Someone must have thought about my bestie bitch before writing this song’s lyrics. This can be the perfect GOLD DIGGER anthem.

SORRY Dumb Demi..
I adore you GRANNY..😂😘😘 muaaaaahhhh..

Granny.. Thank you again!!

I am lucky to have a person like you in my life who works as a mirror to my good/bad/up/low. It’s our TRUTH which never lets us go down. Doesn’t matter i am planning to write an article or I am freelancing, I can just stay sorted about a successful outcome when you are around. We are BEST FRIENDS for a reason. Fuck love and romantic bullshit, I don’t need those when you vibe some positivity on my life. And now:

Two major reasons behind my singlehood:

1. I hate liars. People always run away from accepting/speaking their TRUTH. That makes me afraid of going vulnerable emotionally. I can’t TRUST anyone easily.

2. My bestie granny never accepts “I AM SINGLE”.

Another FLIRTING FAIL!!😂

Can’t explain what we were discussing. My bestie suggested to text with emojis for one whole day. Yes I failed. No flirtatious bullshit yet & nothing cooking. Dumb granny is little crazy, that’s it.😂

Back together!!😆

We pull each other’s hair & fight like monkeys sometimes. We are best friends & we broke up from that equation just 9 times in past 4 months. Either ways I adore you granny. I know you will always find your way back to me, or else I will reach you. We are together for a reason, I am not gonna stop disturbing you till one of us dies.😜

Granny!! I adore you..😜

Someday in 2050, my first marriage invitation card will reach you granny. People usually don’t know, I always try to get in-flight WiFi just to communicate with my old school fellas.😜

Friends like you make me believe in real people who can stand the test of truth and time. Everyone should experience a friend like you in their lifetime.

(FYI: only person calls me RUDEY, because my facial expressions are somewhat rude, always)
Thanks for being a buddy to Tap..

Am I gonna dance!! 😂

Definitely YES, can’t say no to my bestie. One big reason I avoid marriages, I just don’t want to intimidate few people around me. & I am not the one who loves wearing formal/suits. So all set this time. My ass will take another big hit because of two more long haul flights. All good, big love.

Tap OUT.. 😜😘

Conversation with BESTIE!!

Over WhatsApp call..

Tap: Hey I like Eminem.

Bestie: Yeah me too, I love m&m.

Tap: Bitch I am talking about rapper Eminem.

Bestie: You know Rudey, I like you so much that your voice always sounds different to me.

(Point to be noted: Everyone I know, knows who’s this bitch. She will never give up hitting on me.)