As children, we were daring in our imagination; nothing was impossible to us as young dreamers. We dreamt of experiencing wild and outlandish experiences in far-off lands. We dreamt of becoming victorious heroes, genius inventors, and admired artists. We dreamt of sharing a whimsical love story that left us breathless. We dreamt of having a big home filled with family and friends tucked away in the forest or on top of a city sky rise.
There was nothing that our little minds didn’t imagine. Our imagination was fearless.
However, for many, as life played out, when something didn’t work out the way we planned or envisioned, we took those unmet expectations as the sign to stop believing and give up on imagining the wild. We took it as a token that everyone else was right; our imaginations were lofty. Little by little, many of us trained ourselves not to trust that “anything can happen”. We allowed time, experiences, circumstances, and people’s opinions to jade us.
A high school teacher once said; “Being close & open to your opposite sex is important, you become more transparent, there’s no insecurities which makes you more confident. Later that also helps you build better relationship/friendships”. I took those words bit too seriously i guess. Even though my name is bit spoiled with university girls, I haven’t dated many in my almost close to 30 life. Actually i never missed dating someone. Being an extrovert & a LEO, I always had/have options to choose with whom i want to hangout/party/travel/workout/get cozy/watch Netflix/movie night/go hiking or shopping.
Now back to the story/confession/realisation, here it goes: Way back when I was getting over a breakup, I used to spend most of my night filled with anger & a boyish temper. I didn’t realize it back then, I had so much to achieve in my life & such negative feelings weren’t helping. I wondered why she was able to get over faster than I was. Later I realised, it’s because I was spending so much time hating that situation rather than getting over it.
Anyone from my university friends scratching their head which breakup i am talking about; it’s my bestfriend DEMI. We are bestfriends since 7th century, but we have a mad crazy past. We dated for a very short period of time, I wasn’t ready for a COMMITMENT & i literally thought we were just fooling around. Fault was mine. I said YES to 4 girls for prom night & 2 out of those 4 were our seniors. I was expecting DEMI will be cool with it. To fight back & make me jealous, DEMI went on a date with one of my friends named Ivan. Being a loyal bro, Ivan asked my permission whether he is allowed to take DEMI out for a full monty brunch. DEMI didn’t like her date. She wanted to patch what fell apart in between us, but i was more focused with my studies & part-time job. I didn’t care much because i am the kinda guy who’s happy when my bank account grows, my life is more about my growth rather than allowing someone to mess with my piece of peace. Let’s say, I am a happy man because i am married to my bank account.
It became a runner/chaser situation for a week. Sad to say, i was the runner. One saturday evening it was snowing really bad. It was a lightbulb moment for me, I invited DEMI to try my homemade sourdough pizza. It wasn’t tasty like store-bought pizza, but we both ate it with pin drop silence. That was my first try with sourdough fermentation. Next day DEMI came to my apartment early morning, we followed another recipe from some website & we baked that pizza perfectly. We both were upset about each other’s behaviour. An amazing conversation after a good pizza helped us heal. We both got the closure & clarity we needed.
Coming back to this current day called TODAY, the only person who still sits on my lap is DEMI. I can ask her for a head & back massage anytime i want. We go on long drives. It’s a weddings/royal dinner invitations/travelling to some islands during weekends, we are each other’s +1 partner. If weather is not ok, we make it better by cuddling/spooning each other. 3-4 times she suggested whether we can date again! And as usual, I am not ready for dating experiments. But we already have an amazing equation, i don’t want to destroy that by allowing some romantic melodrama. We have a verbal agreement, there’s a sweet punishment if we miss each other’s phonecall or facetime. Last time i missed DEMI’s call when i was attending a university seminar, i had to send a butt naked snapchat streak to all my 186 friends as punishment. Our communication is flawless. The truth is, it took us a long time to build the amazing equation we share & i am not strong enough to hurt her. If i know someone who is TRUTHFUL & CONSISTENT so far in my life, it’s DEMI. Now there’s nothing except RESPECT & ADMIRATION towards each other.
Takeaway: Whatever struggle you are facing in your life, make sure you are not poisoning yourself with anger when you could be giving yourself love. When you are filled with anger or hate, the only person that suffers is you because most of the people you hate don’t know it and the rest don’t care. Fill yourself with SELF-LOVE & SUCCESS before you are in search of LOVE.
People who follow a truthful life with utmost honesty are not interested in being popular. Honest people are entirely disinterested in winning the admiration of the masses. They don’t desire to be seen as the most attractive, most celebrated or most interesting person around because let’s be honest it probably isn’t true on a longer run. When honest people do good they do it because they want to, not because they need leverage. They’re more interested in self growth than winning a popularity contest.
Those who are honest with the world know they are worthy. They know who they are and they aren’t ashamed of it even when other people would be.
Yes to constant/consistent attention/care/admiration, FUCK instant GRATIFICATION.
I don’t want anything quickly. I want to invest myself & I want to see whether the opposite site is able to match my energy. If anything fails, I back out & vice versa. Partnership in relationship & Business, both are almost the same. Either people join to nurture/grow with each other, or they fail to see the bigger picture & fuck off after backstabbing with a tiny gain. Either ways don’t forget you stood the test of time, GAIN is yours & the WINNER is you.